Dendrago, the crocheting Marine. Currently stationed in Okinawa. Join me in my descent into every fandom I can stand.
I’ve been working since four this morning and my feet are white as a ghost and bruised all over.
I just want to lay down and sleep right now.
It seriously bugs me when someone reblogs that post of me in my Charlies and they comment on it about how much of a great soldier I am.
Like just no. I’m not in the army.
Apparently I was listening to Aesthesys the first time I read Homestuck because the opening of Chrysopoeia reminds me of Act 4.
Unpopular opinion: I absolutely hate mashed potatoes.
I’ve just felt so hopelessly alone for the past few weeks, and anything I’ve done or anyone I’ve talked to has only served to take my mind off it for the time being. The moment I stop or they leave, the same thoughts come crashing back in and the only thing keeping me standing upright is the amount of practice I’ve had at hiding my own emotions.
I’ve been blaming the gigantic time difference between here and the states, but even then I don’t think reduced contact is really enough to impact my mental state this much. If anything I actually have more contact, because for the first time since I joined Tumblr, I’ve been actively branching out and meeting with as many people as I can.
I don’t know what it is that’s dragging me down into this slump. It could be the fact that I haven’t had a girlfriend in two and a half years now, and I’m constantly bombarded with relationships and sex by all the media I watch. It could be that there’s one specific person I’m always thinking about who I never have a chance to talk to because schedules and life get in the way.
I’ve been distracting myself and talking to people more lately than I have in a long time, maybe ever in my life. But the feelings get worse and the thoughts get louder and nothing I do is changing that.
That moment when you just randomly feel really fucking lonely, but no one you’d regularly message is online and you don’t want to ask anyone out of the blue because it feels like you’re begging for attention.
Birthday: October 8
Eye color: Brown
Hair color: Light brown
A random fact about you: I am in the Marine Corps, stationed in Okinawa
Favorite band: Aesthesys, C2C, and Panic! at the Disco (currently)
Favorite song: Sailing to Constantinople - Aesthesys
Favorite food: Steak
Favorite season: Winter
Favorite animal: Dogs
Favorite movie: Avatar/Avengers (I go for spectacle)
Anything you need to work on?: I probably should be doing Marine stuff so I'm eligible for promotion but that doesn't even open up for nine months so fuck it
Who ended your last relationship?: Her
Are you friends with your ex?: No
Do you prefer someone shorter or taller?: Shorter, but I'm fine with either
Dark hair or light hair?: Dark
Smart or attractive?: Smart
Is creativity attractive?: Without a doubt
Do you care how much money they have?: Nope
Your last text: Done
Last one i received: Here's a lot with the same name find <username redacted>
The last thing you ate: Steak and chicken
The last thing you drank: Aquarius (electrolyte water stuff
The last song you listened to: Sailing to Constantinople
The last book you read: Ender's Game in preparation for the movie
Do you play any instruments? Only singing
what are you pets’ names?: Star
a random childhood memory: "Borrowing" my sister's car for a joyride one night.
Yes, I am introverted. Not because I’m afraid of social situations, but because I outright dislike them. And that’s fine. And just because you like them doesn’t mean I should too. I interact with people, I’m not a recluse, and I don’t enjoy being forced or coerced into uncomfortable interactions.
I shouldn’t have to make up excuses as to why I don’t want to go to a barbecue where I know literally one person and don’t want to talk to anyone else. “I don’t want to” should be enough of a reason. Introversion doesn’t have to be cured, and trying to do so will only piss me off and make me uncomfortable.
And now come the jokes about being gay for not showing any kind of sexual interest.
Not just maybe.
Oh I don’t know.
IM JUST NOT FUCKING INTERESTED IN RANDOM STRANGERS WALKING DOWN THE STREET.
WHAT A FUCKING CONCEPT HOLY SHIT.
I just generally do not enjoy talking to some people because it always turns into a conversation of how much they’d like to fuck some girl or actress or celebrity or whatever and I completely just don’t give a shit.
It has too many romantic ties for me to just off-handedly consider that with anyone at all and I don’t share nor understand their line of thought.
But since I’m a guy I’m expected to want to fuck anything that looks socially accepted and has a pulse and people act confused when I show no interest whatsoever.
And it’s just getting annoying as hell.